The other day, something made me think of Mother’s Day.
Yes, it’s only early April. It was probably an ad trying to get me to buy something. Makes perfect sense, since Mother’s Day is still more than a month away. {end sarcasm}
It did get me thinking though, of course about what I would enjoy receiving from my family, but more so about what mothers having babies would really appreciate being given.
Support.
Compassion.
A nap.
A shower. (Not a baby shower, an actual shower, completely alone and uninterrupted.)
We are so accustomed to buying, buying, buying, and there’s nothing wrong with flowers or candy or books (all things I like!). I just know that giving a mother a few shifts with a postpartum doula could mean so much more for her overall wellbeing. It’s not a traditional thing we think of to give to someone, but it’s a great one.
The other day I was telling a client about how when I had my first baby, I would strap her into her car seat and bring her in the bathroom with me when I took a shower. Continuously peeking to see that she was still alive, there was no time for me to relax or recharge.
Speaking of showers, baby showers are fun. We all love to celebrate that mother and her baby, and love to give wonderful things that we know will help her – all the usuals include strollers, diapers and wipes, clothes, teethers, pacifiers, stuffed animals, and all sorts of gear. While the gear is obviously helpful and much of it important (Hello diapers! Remember to buy them in bigger sizes so she can stock up, babies are out of newborn size in usually a few weeks!), sometimes having a person who can help you figure out how to use all that gear, or who can do childbirth education with you prior to labor, or who can provide overnight support in those first few weeks when you’re so sleep deprived you don’t know what day it is……to me, that person is a better gift.
Everyone else will give her diapers and cute baby clothes. You can give her a doula.
Maybe you can’t gift her a complete doula support package, but a group of you can. Have you ever gone in on a big gift purchase with family or friends? Consider it and maybe you can make it work.
As for me, I’m hoping for some flowers and a book and yes, most definitely a nap this coming Mother’s Day……but I’m really hoping that I’ll be able to support a pregnant women or a mom with a newborn who needs some extra compassion and care and for someone to mother her for a few days.