“Should my husband be in the consultation and prenatal meeting too?”
I always tell my clients, yes!
Many women know they want the support of a doula for pregnancy, labor, and birth. They are familiar with the benefits that having a doula can provide, and they know doula support can be a key piece to meeting their goals for the birth of their baby.
Because much of labor and birth is instinctual, many men may approach it with some trepidation. They may think that a doula will push them aside, take their place, and intrude upon what is a major milestone for their family. This is far from the truth! As doulas, we support the partner too.
I always make it a point to let the dad know that I’m there for him too. I want to help their family feel confident and comfortable going into labor, so I do a lot of prenatal education. It’s always great when husbands are there for these prenatal meetings too because they are able to learn the basics of how labor usually progresses, they can talk with their wife and help make decisions, they can feel more connected to their baby, and their wife can feel even more supported.
Most partners want to be helpful but aren’t sure what is actually helpful during labor. Making a point to give them suggestions at the prenatal and during labor is so important. I teach husbands where to hold for counter-pressure; remind them to get her a cool washcloth for her forehead; I speak encouraging words to my clients and if that doesn’t come naturally for some dads, it can be a helpful example. All of these seemingly small things can be so helpful during labor.
Something I always remind clients is that her husband knows her better than I ever could. They are united in love, this is their baby, and he knows what makes her laugh, what makes her feel safe, what can help calm her. These are all huge during labor! The emotional and practical support I provide as a doula compliments the loving support he provides. Putting him at ease makes a big difference in the atmosphere and enables the client to focus on working through labor, knowing she has the best support team possible in place: her loving husband and her knowledgeable, experienced doula.
Blessed Birth Doula of CNY offers complimentary consultations – give us a call or email today and let’s start discussing putting together the best support team for your pregnancy, labor, and birth.